Happy Awkward Holidays, Vol. 4

New Year's Eve is one of the weirdest holidays that we celebrate-- even holidays like Boxing Day (a very practical holiday) and President's Day (a commemorative day off of work) make more sense. Why, you ask? Because at least those holidays have a purpose. 


New Year's Eve is the most. Depressing. Holiday. Ever. 
(Do you like how I used punctuation to let you know how to read that aloud? Me, too.)


I'm not the only one who thinks so, either. For Pete's sake, I even found an online NYE survival guide. SURVIVAL GUIDE?! Not only is it depressing, apparently it's LIFE-THREATENING, too!!!


But I digress-- I didn't post this just to ramble. I've introduced my argument, now I present:

THE EVIDENCE

First of all, I'd like to say that I believe that there are only two ways to celebrate NYE, and neither are very good choices.

 The first way to celebrate? Get together with other people (friends or strangers, who cares?) and get crunked! To make it classy, you'll wear your new Christmas clothes and drink champagne. It doesn't really matter what you do, because you won't even remember anyway.

Need I say more? We've all been here. Or maybe it's just me, but I'll include all of you in this to make me feel better. Depressing.

As for being single on NYE? It's like all the awkwardness from Thanksgiving through Christmas condensed into one evening. There are only two traditions associated with this holiday: (1) watching something drop from the sky at midnight (e.g.,the giant ball in Times Square) and (2) kissing someone at midnight. That's completely shutting out all of us single folks. Frankly, it's worse than Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day somehow created an alternative Singles Awareness Day, so single people can all bond together and hate on anyone who isn't single. Not on NYE! No, on NYE singles are left to fend for themselves all on their own.

Where all my people at on NYE?! There's no party just for single people. Nope. They're either home alone or at a party awkwardly standing around trying not to look at everyone else making out at midnight. Or they're kissing strangers and we won't associate with that type. Depressing.

Then there's the business of New Year's resolutions.

There's nothing like saying, "Wow, I'm sure not at all satisfied with this year in my life-- I think I'll completely change my living habits!" to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

But the kicker is the idea of celebrating the year being over. Why not celebrate on New Year's?! It's so exciting! A new year! Wonderful! How often do we celebrate things being done? Hmmm.

There. I've stated my case. Go forth and try not to be too bummed on Saturday night. I hear Dick Clark has a pretty rockin' eve planned. (Hardy har har.)

Happy New Year's Eve, y'all!!!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Enjoy the interior illumination!

LeeAnne's Best Christmas Gifts

1989 - PJ Sparkles

I don't remember much about being three years old, but I do remember wanting PJ Sparkles with my entire toddler being. I will never forget that Santa hid that doll behind the couch in my parents' family room-- I tore open the paper and was officially as happy as I'd ever been. Or so I'm guessing, since I remember it so well today. I'm guessing this would be the happy memory that would help make my patronus. (I'm such a NERD.)


1990 - Cupcake Dolls

Best. Dolls. Ever.They smelled like cupcakes. When you were done playing with them, they rolled up so that they looked like cupcakes. I mean, it was a LITTLE weird that they didn't have any legs or anything, but if I could roll up like that, I totally would!


1994 - "The Lion King" Soundtrack & the Polly Pocket Victorian Mansion

Christmas 1994 was quite possibly the most epic Christmas ever. I didn't get just one favorite present, but TWO. The Lion King soundtrack was my first CD. I don't even think that I owned a disc man or a CD player, but who cares? My first compact disc was 12 songs of academy-award winning glory. 
Do I even need to say anything about the Polly Pocket Victorian Mansion? There was no greater (or more choke-able) toy in the '90s than Polly, and this was no heart-shaped house. It was a full, multi-story mansion. Even as I type this, I can feel the joy spreading from my heart to this post. Oh yeah. I'm that serious.


1999 - Bass Guitar

I loved my bass guitar, and though I don't play it any more, I still have it and it gives me warm fuzzies. Years of playing crappy Blink 182 covers and "Barracuda" in my friend Amanda's basement were too fun for words. Watch out for a Miffed Papas reunion tour. It will be even more terrible than the first time around. :)


2002 - Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

Alright, this is by no means my favorite Zelda game. BUT it was the first Zelda game that was MINE, ALL MINE! Not to be too nerdy, but all of my life I remember my family playing Zelda together, so whenever I hear about Link or Hyrule or Zelda, it makes me really happy. 


2004 - Light Up Gumball Machine (with Jelly Beans)

I'll be honest, I didn't have this gumball machine for very long, but I don't know any gift that made me laugh harder-- and I LOVE to laugh! It was my first Christmas with my college floormates and my roommate got me this. She couldn't find any gumballs, so I had to rock the entire thing back and forth about a million times before one would make it to the bottom. I don't care if it doesn't sound funny, it was HILARIOUS.


2009 - "The Office" Desk Calendar

Firstly, I'm not entirely sure why I imagined myself to have a crappy flip phone in 2009, but it's probably right. I was late on the smartphone train.
My friend Renee bought me a desk calendar for Christmas... Unfortunately, we didn't see each other and remember to bring our gifts until about June. We laughed for hours reading through quotes from the Office until we got caught up to the right date. (Okay, in reality, I think we just made it through the month of January and then I ripped off the big chunk, but still, lots of laughs.)


2006-Present - Ornaments

 I love traditions, I love the feeling of having roots, and I love nostalgia. Since 2006, my college friends and I have exchanged ornaments with one another instead of other gifts. Some years the ornaments are kitschy, some years they are fancy, but they're always heartwarming. It always tears me up to put up my tree and see all of those memories. Besides, my tree looks AWESOME.


2011 (anticipated) - THE BEST GIFT EVER!!!

So maybe I'm jumping the gun, but I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want this. It is a MAGIC WAND and a universal remote control. Say what?! Oh, yes. I need this. Just buy me an Amazon.com giftcard and email it to me. I can take it from there. ;)
**UPDATE** Holy schnikes, my friends Cory & Katrina got it for me and it is EVEN MORE AWESOME than I ever imagined!!! BEST CHRISTMAS EVER (and it hasn't even happened yet)!