I'm sorry for the neglect, but working 70+ hour weeks for the last three weeks has put a damper on my funny time. I still don't have funny time, but that doesn't mean I should leave you hanging any longer... I found some comics I'd made before. So now... STILL MORE QUOTES FROM WORK!
<<The lack of a title photo is evidence of how very little effort I've put into this post.>>
My mom must be really proud to know that I handle crisis situations at work so decisively and urgently. (*That's called "sarcasm.")
My self-awareness is usually pretty good, but my campus activities life has put me a little out of touch with most other normal people. I actually had this conversation with a friend... Seriously, people. Get to know more magicians. You'll love it. They do magic. And they're starved for attention. You'll never find a more entertaining conversationalist.
I do this every year. I literally budget $1,000 for pancakes. And every year, they toss pancakes at me as fast as they can and I catch none of them. So many dollars wasted on the floor...
Somehow dancing around at night in a bunch of foam makes people feel like taking their clothes off. Some things you just can't unsee...
This quote is 100% accurate. What is wrong with me? "Oh, I'm on my death bed, but people will be so mad without their free shirts?"
So many stories to tell, so little time... Somebody call my boss and tell him to give me a break. Sometimes comics are just more important.