Vampires don't make sense.
Take my hand as I explore the reasons why I don't understand how vampires function (with the help of some of my friends.)
First of all, a disclaimer:
I'm just saying: Have you ever watched True Blood? I don't know when I've ever seen so many beautiful people on screen. And so many six packs. Helloooooooooooooo bare male torsos.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a big vampire fan, though. I never watched "Buffy" or "Angel" or anything like that, but I did read a lot as a kid. And I read a lot of vampire stories. Sure, I started out reading Nancy Drew, but then I jumped right to R.L. Stine's Fear Street books (the "scarier" version of Goosebumps) and was absolutely obsessed with Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire series.
Oh, Sita. You were the original dark and twisty character that I fell in love with. And the first vampire that piqued my interest-- which brings us to a few questions that I have:
*My friend Jonny pointed out to me that being disgusting doesn't necessarily keep zombies from being a sex machines, as demonstrated in this disturbing clip from "Dead Alive":
That makes that scene from "There's Something About Mary" even more troubling.