Holiday Greetings for 2014

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

This being the first night of Hanukkah (Chanukah? Chanukkah?) and my lack of posts for such a long time, I decided it was time for holiday greetings!!! For those of you who, like me: (1) have yet to mail a single card; (2) feel a little weird about being grown-up and sending cards; and (3) don't like the generic cards available in my price range, you're in luck! I've made a few designs of my own! They're great for me because they're free and funny and I didn't actually print them so I don't have to worry about sending them anywhere. (Somewhere I know my plan is flawed, but here we are anyway.)

1. Real Talk

Y'all, I know you think I'm too old to be broke but you're wrong. It's time for real talk. Send checks. Cash. Money orders. 

I mean, that's selfish and makes me feel guilty because Christmas and all. So send those things to a charity of your choice. Personally, I totally dig St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. And so do Jennifer Aniston and Jon Hamm, so it's gotta be good.

2. The Obligatory "Elf" Card

For those holiday movie purists out there, boo hiss, go watch "It's a Wonderful Life". (Another movie that I love, btw.) Elf is chock full of one-liners and quotes that spread Christmas cheer almost as well as singing loud for all to hear. (See what I did there?)

For legal reasons, I should point out I own nothing that has to do with "Elf" and I'm making no money off of this card so there.

3. Puppy Love

Aw, but adorable little farts they are.

For legal reasons, I should probably point out that I DO own this little Boston, so respect it. Creative commons copyright and all that-- share but refer back! Or may the copyright gods come down on you swiftly and with lots of stinky farts.

4. Stay Golden

What better gift is there than friendship? Nothing.

Enjoy the intro and get ALL the warm fuzzies. You know you want to sing along.
(*I also don't own the Golden Girls, but they do own my heart. Sigh.)

5. The Perfect Card for Other Twenty-Something Single Folks

I know I've limited my audience here. But sometimes to truth is so very real that it's worth it.

Feel free to print these if you feel like paying for that (I can't imagine you would) or using your ink that way (in which case, sorry for the colored backgrounds). I made them as 5x7's so there! If you're awful nice, I'll even send a full res file your way. (Aw, shucks!)

Happy holidays, y'all. I hope you get to spend them with people you love doing things you love and over-indulging in good things. Only good things!

That Boston Terrier Life

Life with a Boston Terrier

Let's be clear, I don't necessarily LIVE with a Boston Terrier. But I definitely live with them. SO MANY of them. When I moved to New Orleans, I literally thought that Bostons were a fad around here. I'M SURROUNDED. AND I LOVE IT.

But I don't love it as much as my friend Christy.

She's the reason pretty much everyone I know has a Boston. She fosters dogs for Alabama Boston Terrier Rescue and, let's be honest, Bostons are so friggin' adorable that anybody who spends time with one and finds out he/she is adoptable is going to end up with a new pet. IT'S INEVITABLE.

I can't have dogs, otherwise I would have a Boston. I'm sure of it. So instead of owning one, I doodle them. For your pleasure and my own. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I've learned from living with (around?) Boston Terriers.

I've learned that Bostons are the classiest dogs at any party. Add a bowtie? INSTANT TUX.

Adorable. (And maybe I did. Stop judging me, adorable little dog.)

It's true. Though, honestly, if any man greeted me with the fervor and enthusiasm of a dog, I'd probably run away screaming. And if he humped my leg like my friend Dale's Boston, Ralphie, does, I'd have to call the cops.

Let's be frank. This is the #1 lesson learned by anyone who's ever spent any time around Bostons. Got a problem with that? Shame on you. But read about solutions here: http://www.petsadviser.com/pet-health/my-boston-terrier-farts-constantly/.

Otherwise, go hug a Boston today. You'll feel better for it. (Just bring nose plugs.)