Monday, December 12, 2011

Happy Awkward Holidays Vol. 1

I'll spare you all the "I'm not dead" comments because I'm assuming you all realize that this blog isn't epic enough to warrant posthumous publishing. If it was, I'll be honest-- you would see a LOT of half drawn stick people and probably wonder to yourself "Wow, how could it possibly take that long to draw such rudimentary characters?" Well, you Negative Nancy, my stick people have character and that takes time, dagnabbit! I am a very busy lady and shame on you for judging me.

Don't take that too seriously, darlings, you know I love you merely because you're reading this right now. 

At any rate, the holidays are a time for family and family typically means general hot mess-ness. In true LeeAnne fashion, my Thanksgiving was out of control. You won't believe it, but I'm telling you now that what you are about to see is based on actual events.

I expected a small Thanksgiving. I was on-duty for work, so I couldn't travel any further than my sister's house for the holiday. My brother had to work, making the dinner party even smaller. I cherish my family time, though, so I was happy regardless.

What I got, however, was something entirely different. The only warning I got to prepare me for the Thanksgiving that we had was the smallest of comments from my sister, so quiet and so brief I almost thought I didn't hear it: "I don't know how many people are coming to dinner today."

Huh. How can you not know how many people are coming to dinner? It's dinner! You have to cook for it, and cooking usually involves knowing how many people are eating. It's pretty simple, really.

Oh yeah, ALL of those people were at Thanksgiving. The cartoon was so large that blogger wouldn't let me post it at original size (the width of this post). Even at a smaller size, you still had to commit to scrolling alllllll the way down the table.

In reality, we didn't fit around one table, but who has the patience to draw two dining tables and a kitchen counter? 

It was quite possibly the most awkward Thanksgiving I ever had.

My sister has been divorced for a while now, and I haven't seen the EX's family really since. No bad blood, just that awkward we're-not-really-family-anymore business. I mean, I'm facebook friends with my sister's ex-sister-in-law. That's practically REAL friendship!!!

Even so, the awkwardness was compounded by the fact that my sister's "friend" came to dinner. And didn't know that all of those ex-in-laws were coming. Bless his heart, I don't know how he did it.

Fortunately, my sister's "friend" recorded it all on a camera he mounted on the wall that took photos of us every 10 seconds. Nothing like a time lapse video to truly encompass all that awkward.

The worst part of it all: We expected only eight people at dinner-- four people and four half-people*, really. (*Also known as "children.") We only expected eight people, then all those other people showed up, and WE STILL HAD LEFTOVERS.

Thank goodness for our gluttony.