Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Why Life in New Orleans is Like a Sitcom



I've always wanted my life to be like a sitcom. I can already hear some of you decrying sitcoms as the lowest form of televised entertainment, and I say to you: Shut up, hipster. Sitcoms are delightful little 22 minute packages of laughter, wrapped up nicely each week to make you feel better for watching it. Sometimes there are even moral lessons sprinkled in, but not always. Not everything has to be life changing, you know.

I've been saying for a while now that I think that the writers for "Happy Endings" actually just follow me around and then write up Penny's plot line for the week. (If you don't watch the show, I suggest you do. But maybe give it a few goes round-- just like life, not every episode is a-mah-zing, but in general: I love it.) Penny's hijinks have my friends (and myself) saying "Gee, this sounds an awful lot like LeeAnne," which has always brought me some joy that my life is at least a LITTLE bit like a sitcom, and I'm the comic relief.


But then I moved to New Orleans. 

In the few months I've been here, my life has become more and more like a sitcom with each passing day. Of course, I'm about to tell you why:

We're all familiar with the scenario: the main character has a conversation that the writers don't know how to wrap up, then thankfully the neighbor barges in and the laugh track starts rolling. Just watch an episode of "Seinfeld." Jerry is inevitably ranting about something and just when you're wondering how much longer he can go on, cue Kramer sliding in the door with some ridiculous comment or plan for them to carry out. Or in "Will & Grace." The banter gets less and less witty and then BOOM! Jack is running through the door!

In my life, I have my roommate/landlord: Bill. He is wonderful, but positively cuckoo bananas. In the otherwise stressful storyline of LeeAnne's first hurricane, Bill pops in and has me help him "purify and protect" the house. I can walk around burning sage and repeating mumbo jumbo with the best of them, so I did it. And it made me feel better, just realizing that ridiculousness was happening. Or I'm cooking dinner (not a particularly thrilling chore), when he pops in to explain to me that the feral cats in our backyard are more human than we are and that we can learn so much from them. Maybe he's got the onset of dementia, but it brings me a lot of joy.


In the sitcom formula, the show always centers on a group of friends, usually a trio, because then there's always the awkward sexual tension of two of the friends liking one another and the other being left out. Oooh, drama!

Well, I don't really have that. I serve as third wheel to my friend Nicole and her fiance, Michael, so it's not really a mystery to me as to which two in this trio has feelings for each other, but the similarity still stands. We are a group of friends who have adventures together. (Adventures you'll read about if you keep reading.)

What about sitcoms with larger casts, like "Friends" or "Happy Endings" or "How I Met Your Mother?" I can fill out those casts, too. Between our co-workers and the awkwardness that ensues, we're an entertaining bunch at any number.


Speaking of co-workers... They are often a source of hilarity in sitcoms. Obviously "The Office" (original British or spin-off American version) is the best example of this: work places are rife with situations you don't encounter in other parts of your life and also full of awkward people forced into interacting with one another.

I work in a campus activities office, so the number of bizarre work experiences I have are especially abundant. You've heard me talk about that before, so I won't go on (rather, you should read my other posts). But I will say this: Any job that involves working with magicians and inflatable fly guys as much as mine does = sitcom comedy gold.


Any sitcom worth its salt is chock full of shenanigans. Fortunately, so is my life. Going hipster isn't so much a storyline as an ongoing joke (I live around a bunch of hippies and I use Instagram), but that's still common to sitcoms.

I won't tell the whole story to the following shenanigans as that's the job for future posts, but here is a list of for-true adventures I've had since I moved here in August:

  • I got free front row tickets to a Brad Paisley concert just because I was sitting and eating and looking generally friendly. (We didn't go because we decided to buy tulle instead, but that's another story.)
  • We dressed up as giant loofahs and went out on the town. People loved us, and we're floating around in Facebook albums by people we don't know and probably won't see again. Also, a woman's necklace got stuck in my loofah and she took it off and decided just to leave it there. FREEBIES! (We gave it back.)
  • We crashed a party at Muriel's celebrating the best restaurants in New Orleans-- which, if you know anything about New Orleans, means these were hoity toity people we were hob nobbing with. We gorged ourselves on pate and lox and top shelf liquor, all the while fawning over John Besh and some lady who was in Treme and acting like we belonged. 
  • I pretended to be engaged to a friend of ours (who happens to be gay-- Penny and Max from "Happy Endings," anyone?) so that we could crash a rehearsal dinner tasting. It was delish.
All of this happened as the aforementioned comedic trio, of course.


You'll notice if you've ever watched a sitcom that they usually wrap up with all of the characters getting together in their usual spot to discuss the happenings of the episode and end the episode laughing so that we on the outside know that they're ALWAYS having fun, not just for 30 minutes a week. There are a million examples of this: "Friends" had the Central Perk, "Seinfeld" had the diner, "Cheers" had, well, Cheers, and "Saved by the Bell" had The Max.

I have happy hour. The location changes each week, but it serves the same purpose: my friends and I get together at the end of the week to discuss our happenings and leave laughing so we know we're fun people.


Sitcoms always have cameos, too! Watch "Glee" on any given week and you'll think to yourself, "Oh, [some actor/actress far too talented for network television] is on this week! Who knew s/he could sing?!"

Well, living in New Orleans, I also have cameos of famous actors. Personally, I've run into Justin Long and Noah Wyle. My friend Nicole saw Morgan Freeman at a restaurant once, and it's a well known fact that Leo DiCaprio jogs in Audubon Park at 5am on the daily.

I also have people who serve the cameos' role in my life; my friend Nicole says no one else does this, but I often have people I call "friend-for-a-day." I hang out with them for a day or so and then I never talk to them again. I met a girl on the bus who got me into a Trombone Shorty concert for free and we had a grand ol' time. I have no idea what her name is. After Isaac, when I was hot as all get out and escaped to the Quarter during the day, I hung out with the same people at an artists' co-op everyday, shooting the shit and painting and complaining about the heat. I haven't seen them since. It happens. They're my cameos!

But mostly when I think of cameos, I think of the sitcom king who I want dearly to cameo in the sitcom of my life: 

I love this man. And it's a cameo that could potentially happen as he lives here in New Orleans. Then my sitcom would be PERFECT. 

I might as well just plan on that happening and pitch my story to some network execs ASAP. I even have my promo worked out. Show's logo is a unique font so it's immediately recognizable. Main character highlighted front and center. Cheesy smile and awkward pose so people know it's a comedy. Generic photo of the show's locale to attract mainstream viewers. Primetime time slot so people know there's some adult content.



I'll update this with a network logo as soon as someone picks it up. I feel pretty good about this.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Identity Crisis


Alright folks, it looks as though many of you anticipate an identity crisis in my future. New Orleans is going to make me an entirely different person?! That's news to me!

For those of you who don't know me well, let me paint you a picture (or crudely draw you a stick figure):
That's me. Pretty average, I know, but I like me a lot, so I'm happy with this picture.

What everyone else pictures, however, is a little more seedy (or depressing):



To be fair, my family also pictures me as this:
Copyright the History Channel

I have something else in mind:

Sunday, March 4, 2012

A Beginner's Guide to NACA


If you're reading this, you probably already know that I work in campus activities. If you don't know what that is, use context clues. Your junior high English teacher should have covered that. And you thought that the things you learned in school wouldn't come in handy!


Anyway, NACA is the National Association of Campus Activities and I just got back from the national convention. I'm not going to take the time to explain it now because I want my illustrations below to show it to you (a picture's worth a thousand words and all that). 


As usual, I want to include a disclaimer: NACA is a valuable organization and I wouldn't spend my university's money on it if I didn't have proof that it was worthwhile. We learn a lot from ed sessions, are affirmed in what we're doing as a programming board, and save a lot of money by block booking. However, like all things, it's also very silly, as you're about to see.


First of all, for those of you who are unfamiliar with NACA, I've come up with a few slogans that might come in handy...






On the note of performers, NACA showcases a number of musical acts. A lot of them are up-and-coming (folks who participated in "The Voice" and "American Idol") and, well, Bowling for Soup, Hanson, Blessid Union of Souls... I've mapped out the musical act selection process; it's actually incredibly scientific. Note that the x-axis represents to progression of bands from up-and-coming to down-and-out; the y-axis represents popularity from garage band to stadium filler.




And last but not least, let's talk CAMP. Such a weird place, I can only hope to begin to describe it for you...







Wednesday, January 18, 2012

LeeAnne's Bar Skank Guide

Well, I've survived the holidays and apparently I've spent a full two weeks recovering from NYE in New Orleans. It wasn't depressing as my last post promised, but I digress. I'm here to fill y'all in on what I have been up to these last few weeks... Beginning with a guide to bar skanks.

Last weekend we had an awesome comedy magician and an amazing hypnotist on campus, and what better way to celebrate that than to get crunked? Just kidding, but I did go out with friends that came down for the show to the village bar, "The Regal Beagle." At the time I joked that they were lucky they were such "Three's Company" fans, otherwise I wouldn't go in there. But if I hadn't gone, where would my blog inspiration be? And what would you, dear reader, be doing right now?!

It all started with my friend Evie, who sort of prides herself in her people watching skills.
I want to clarify here that she is announcing "Skanks, ho!" as in "Skanks ahead!" or "Skanks ahoy!" (hence the pirate hat) and not as in "Skanks and hoes!" That's just redundant, and Evie wouldn't waste her time with such silly announcements.

Anyway, what better place to spot bar skanks than in a college bar? To save yourself some time next time you're out, we've put together a skank spotting guide for your general safety and convenience.

You are bound to encounter any variety of bar skanks in the wild, so I've taken the liberty of illustrating four for you. 







I want to take a moment to say I didn't draw these panels to say that I'm a skank, even though I'm the example in each one. After my friend Jackie pointed out that I always make her my alcoholic friend in my posts, I realized I didn't want anybody else complaining that I always make them my skank friend. So there. Judge away, if you must!


If you disagree or have other bar skanks in mind, forget you, start your own blog. If you think these four are a little too specific and you don't know what to do with yourself, don't fret! If all else fails, study and remember the following bar skank behaviors and you'll be an advanced skank spotter in no time!




(As I finished the example skanks in that panel, I thought to myself, "Do I have a thing against blonde people?" but we'll save the self-discovery for some other time.)


In case you're wondering what a skank fight looks like, I imagine it looks something like this: 
Yeah, I just doodled crudely over the glitter explosion drawing I did for my Christmas crafting post. Have you seen what skanks wear? I don't think this is too far off the mark. Glitter, sequins, it's all the same.


In case you're wondering what a man fight looks like, fortunately for you we experienced one last weekend so I can share the whole thing in great detail:
Our reactions as I've described them are pretty accurate and say a lot about our character. Well, except Duke's reaction-- I don't really know what he was thinking, but he was working really hard on keeping his southern drawl all night so I hope against hope that he was thinking something like that. Or "those fellas are scrappier than a couple o' rabid possum" or "looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket." Well, that last one was from Steel Magnolias, but I think you get it.


Unfortunately, none of our reactions were at all effective. The fight was not broken up, the drinks were not saved, and although the table was initially flipped away from us, it eventually flipped back toward us, resulting in this:
(Technically I was covered in beer, but I didn't want to draw that because, well, let's think about what that would look like.)


Had we been bar skanks, we probably would have managed to get away from the man fight unscathed.


And just so Jackie doesn't feel left out of a blog post where I talk about booze:

Happy skank spotting!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

LeeAnne's Best Christmas Gifts


1989 - PJ Sparkles
I don't remember much about being three years old, but I do remember wanting PJ Sparkles with my entire toddler being. I will never forget that Santa hid that doll behind the couch in my parents' family room-- I tore open the paper and was officially as happy as I'd ever been. Or so I'm guessing, since I remember it so well today. I'm guessing this would be the happy memory that would help make my patronus. (I'm such a NERD.)


1990 - Cupcake Dolls
Best. Dolls. Ever.They smelled like cupcakes. When you were done playing with them, they rolled up so that they looked like cupcakes. I mean, it was a LITTLE weird that they didn't have any legs or anything, but if I could roll up like that, I totally would!


1994 - "The Lion King" Soundtrack & the Polly Pocket Victorian Mansion
Christmas 1994 was quite possibly the most epic Christmas ever. I didn't get just one favorite present, but TWO. The Lion King soundtrack was my first CD. I don't even think that I owned a disc man or a CD player, but who cares? My first compact disc was 12 songs of academy-award winning glory. 
Do I even need to say anything about the Polly Pocket Victorian Mansion? There was no greater (or more choke-able) toy in the '90s than Polly, and this was no heart-shaped house. It was a full, multi-story mansion. Even as I type this, I can feel the joy spreading from my heart to this post. Oh yeah. I'm that serious.


1999 - Bass Guitar
I loved my bass guitar, and though I don't play it any more, I still have it and it gives me warm fuzzies. Years of playing crappy Blink 182 covers and "Barracuda" in my friend Amanda's basement were too fun for words. Watch out for a Miffed Papas reunion tour. It will be even more terrible than the first time around. :)


2002 - Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Alright, this is by no means my favorite Zelda game. BUT it was the first Zelda game that was MINE, ALL MINE! Not to be too nerdy, but all of my life I remember my family playing Zelda together, so whenever I hear about Link or Hyrule or Zelda, it makes me really happy. 


2004 - Light Up Gumball Machine (with Jelly Beans)
I'll be honest, I didn't have this gumball machine for very long, but I don't know any gift that made me laugh harder-- and I LOVE to laugh! It was my first Christmas with my college floormates and my roommate got me this. She couldn't find any gumballs, so I had to rock the entire thing back and forth about a million times before one would make it to the bottom. I don't care if it doesn't sound funny, it was HILARIOUS.


2009 - "The Office" Desk Calendar
Firstly, I'm not entirely sure why I imagined myself to have a crappy flip phone in 2009, but it's probably right. I was late on the smartphone train.
My friend Renee bought me a desk calendar for Christmas... Unfortunately, we didn't see each other and remember to bring our gifts until about June. We laughed for hours reading through quotes from the Office until we got caught up to the right date. (Okay, in reality, I think we just made it through the month of January and then I ripped off the big chunk, but still, lots of laughs.)


2006-Present - Ornaments
 I love traditions, I love the feeling of having roots, and I love nostalgia. Since 2006, my college friends and I have exchanged ornaments with one another instead of other gifts. Some years the ornaments are kitschy, some years they are fancy, but they're always heartwarming. It always tears me up to put up my tree and see all of those memories. Besides, my tree looks AWESOME.


2011 (anticipated) - THE BEST GIFT EVER!!!
So maybe I'm jumping the gun, but I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want this. It is a MAGIC WAND and a universal remote control. Say what?! Oh, yes. I need this. Just buy me an Amazon.com giftcard and email it to me. I can take it from there. ;)
**UPDATE** Holy schnikes, my friends Cory & Katrina got it for me and it is EVEN MORE AWESOME than I ever imagined!!! BEST CHRISTMAS EVER (and it hasn't even happened yet)!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Happy Awkward Holidays, Vol. 2


I considered subtitling this post "Modge Podge and Glitter" instead, but in the spirit of "We Bought a Zoo," I decided to go with the most descriptive subtitle. The refined art of lacking subtlety or mystery is underrated these days.


Anyway, the prologue: Since college, my "girls" and I have been getting together for Christmas at Jill's parents' house to decorate for the holiday and all that. It's a fun tradition, similar enough each year to pull at our heart strings but evolving enough to keep us interested in attending. We exchanged gifts at first, and after two years of failing miserably at that, we switched to buying each other ornaments. I brought a craft for us to do last year, and after that was a success, we switched to each of us bringing in a craft. And that brings us to today's post.


You may not have caught that at first: EACH ONE OF US brought in a craft. That is a lot of crafting. 


WE CRAFTED FOR FOUR HOURS.



  • Keep breast milk out unrefrigerated before it goes bad.
  • Watch “Gone with the Wind” (3 hrs, 46 min).
  • Run a marathon.
  • Draw comics for your blog.
  • Take an extra long nap.
  • Work a day at a part-time job.
  • Watch four episodes of “The Walking Dead.”
  • Troll Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest/Etsy/your web-based procrastination station of choice.
  • Build a living room’s worth of IKEA furniture.
  • Not get a healthy amount of sleep. (6+ hours!)
  • Build a shed.
  • Digest and absorb a well-rounded meal (3-4 hours).
  • Read a book.
  • Go on a hot air balloon ride.
  • Fly from London to the South of France.
  • Read Life as LeeAnne Knows It. (Kidding. You’d have to read it about a dozen times to fill four hours!)
  • Play a game of Risk or Monopoly or some other frustrating board game.
  • CRAFT.
Don't get me wrong, I love crafting. My Pinterest DIY board makes me extremely happy.
I friggin' love Pinterest.

But crafting can get away from you. Some things are easy to do, some are difficult, but they all take time. Lots and lots of time.

180 Christmas crafts that would have been easier and less time-consuming than the ones we chose.

We started out with a simple, pre-packaged craft: jingle bell ornaments. Or, at least we thought it was simple.
Craft-induced identity crisis.

Needless to say, that didn't bode well for the remaining 3 hours and 56 minutes we spent crafting. Those ended up looking alright, though, if a little like Nicki Minaj.


Difficult as the crafts may have been, we all had fun and Jackie especially attempted each craft with a lot of fervor.

 Us applying stray adhesive to our ornaments.
Jackie applying spray adhesive to her ornaments.

 Us applying glitter to our ornaments.
Jackie applying glitter to her ornaments.

Unfortunately, enthusiasm doesn't always make things better. Especially after hours of crafting, it's difficult to maintain both enthusiasm and skill.

Even the worst of crafts ended up looking adorable and awesome, though.* That's the glory of crafting, the imperfections really DO add character. (*I want to note that by the end of the night, my crafts were neither adorable nor awesome, but we'll skirt over my short attention span and complete lack of patience.)

Enthusiasm backfired for Jackie in unexpected ways, too. 

Turns out the spray adhesive cloud mixed with the glitter explosion gave Jackie a difficult time. :)

So, lessons learned:
  • Four hours is too long to craft. Unless, of course, it's the holidays, then you'll be expected to craft as long as it's festive.
  • LeeAnne really has only two good crafts in her, then the other go considerably downhill.
  • Crafting is messy business, so be careful with the spray adhesive.
  • There are a LOT of fumes from clouds of spray adhesive.
  • Those fumes make crafting for so long a little more tolerable.

Thanks for a fun weekend, ladies! More awkward holidays to come!